And here I stand at yet another crossroads. The last major one I guess was almost four years back when I was at the doorstep of my university years. But at the very least, back then I had a goal, an ambition. Now I stand totally clueless of where I should head at all. If I thought I found the perfect way two years back, I am now having doubts. I have invested so much into going into that direction that stopping now would be a total waste. But what do you do when you find out that your passion lies somewhere else, somewhere that seems totally impossible and out-of-reach, and that you have been lying to yourself all this time simply to finally have a seeming direction in your life? Do I dare risk everything to try my luck at what I really want to do while throwing all my past efforts through the window? No I don’t think I am that brave enough just yet. It is just too much to risk. I guess the best route of action for now would be to go the usual way…get a normal job like everybody else and pursue my passion in my spare time.
Haha…this is funny though. It suddenly occurred to me again how my mum always said that I always just had to go off the beaten track and do things differently from everyone else in the past. Well, it really was because I followed what I wanted to do. I didn’t like sticking to what people said cannot be done. And I guess I still don’t like to…hum. So will I again carve my own path, away from the old, trodden one? I would like to…but should I really? If only I had the answers to all these questions. The only thing I know is that I’ll have to take a decision soon, too soon for my comfort. I still have a little more time in front of me. I guess for now I’ll keep on searching…for answers, for opportunities, for the right direction.
Or maybe…passions are after all not meant to be followed. Dreams are just dreams…maybe they should simply stay as such. Only the truly luckyand blessed ones among us get to follow their passion and realise their dreams on this earth.